Have I Had ADHD All My Life?
Signs You May Have Lived With Undiagnosed ADHD for Years
Many people come to therapy with a quiet question they’ve carried for years: “Do I have ADHD?”
Often, it’s not about wanting a label for the sake of it. It’s about making sense of a lifetime of experiences — the forgotten deadlines, the piles of half-finished projects, the constant feeling of being “too much” or “not enough.” The uncertainty can be exhausting.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. More and more adults are realising they may have been living with undiagnosed ADHD for years, masking who they are, sometimes for decades.
👉 If you’ve questioned whether you may have ADHD, get in touch here
Why ADHD Often Goes Unnoticed
ADHD isn’t always obvious. As children, many people with ADHD were described as:
“A daydreamer”
“Messy”
“Too chatty”
“Lazy but smart”
Instead of recognising these as signs of ADHD, teachers and parents often wrote them off as quirks or personality traits.
Gender plays a role too. Boys who were disruptive in class were more likely to be flagged early, while girls — who may have struggled quietly with focus, organisation, or anxiety — slipped under the radar.
On top of that, many people learn to mask their struggles by working harder, staying late, or over-preparing just to keep up. From the outside, it looks like they’re managing fine. On the inside, it’s draining.
Wondering if you have ADHD?
You’re not alone.
The Adult Realisation
For many, the questions about ADHD surface later in life. Sometimes it’s after a period of burnout, a difficult career shift, or when their own child gets diagnosed and they start recognising the same traits in themselves.
There can be powerful “aha” moments:
Realising your constant forgetfulness isn’t laziness.
Seeing your impulsivity in a new light.
Understanding why organisation has always felt like climbing a mountain.
But alongside the relief often comes grief: “If only I’d known earlier. If only I’d had the right support.” And, of course, shame — the familiar inner critic saying “Maybe I’m just making excuses.”
“Do I have ADHD?”
One of the hardest parts of ADHD uncertainty is the limbo — not diagnosed, but strongly suspecting.
This “maybe” brings up a mix of emotions:
Relief, because things finally make sense.
Grief, for lost time or missed opportunities.
Doubt, wondering if you’re overthinking it.
It doesn’t help that the internet is flooded with ADHD content. Online communities can be validating, but they can also leave people more confused: “Do I really have ADHD, or am I just relating to human struggles?”
What You Can Do in the Meantime
Even without a formal diagnosis, there are things you can do right now to ease the load.
Practice self-compassion. ADHD isn’t about laziness or lack of willpower. It’s about how your brain processes information.
Externalise reminders. Don’t rely on memory. Use sticky notes, phone alarms, or visual cues.
Try body doubling. Working alongside someone else, even quietly, can make tasks more manageable.
Break tasks into micro-steps. “Do the washing” becomes “collect dirty clothes,” “put clothes in machine,” “add detergent.”
Therapy can also help, whether or not you pursue a diagnosis. Exploring feelings of shame, learning new coping tools, and making sense of past experiences can be deeply healing.
Final Thoughts
Getting a diagnosis is a personal decision. For some, it brings validation and access to support. For others, self-awareness and practical strategies feel like enough.
The most important thing to remember is this: your struggles are real, whether or not they come with a medical label. The uncertainty doesn’t make your experiences less valid.
If you’ve spent years wondering whether you’ve had ADHD all your life, know that you’re not alone in this uncertainty. Many people are only now piecing together the story of their brains, their patterns, and their challenges.
Whether you choose to seek a diagnosis or simply deepen your self-understanding, what matters is finding ways to live with more clarity, compassion, and ease.
And if you want a safe space to explore these questions — including the shame, the “what ifs,” and the practical challenges — therapy can help.
Read more about counselling for ADHD here
